Reframing the Ego

Today’s understanding of ego is often seen as a negative aspect of self. “He is in his ego” or “Stop being egotistical!” are phrases we hear a lot but do we actually know what it means to be in ones ego, do we?

Ego is the identity you give to who you believe you are…the thoughts, feelings and behaviors of YOU. The beliefs of who you are and how you see the world. It is what you think reality is like.

Your ego is therefore your programmed self.

Our programmed selves are not bad. We formed those programs (beliefs, thoughts, feelings and behaviors) based on experiences we had in our life, perspectives we took on and meaning we gave them. We formed these programs to understand how to navigate through our life.

Each of us formed different programs because we had different experiences and formed different perspectives which formed different meanings. Even siblings don’t have exact programming, they are slightly different based on their perspective of what happened and what each of them made it mean.

For example: if you were a child who witnessed a parent screaming the first time you saw a snake most likely you have a program that snakes are scary. But if you witnessed a parent calm the first time you saw a snake most likely you have a program where you remain calm around snakes.

These programs have helped you stay in what is familiar because you know how to navigate the familiar. Therefore you could say the ego has helped you stay safe because it helps you stay in what is familiar.

And it limits you!

It keeps you from growing because most of the programs you created about how life works were formed in childhood. You created them from a child’s perspective and then they have been unconsciously operating underneath the surface and literally dictating your life….keeping you in the familiar.

For example: if you have a perfectionist tendency most often this was formed in childhood when someone significant in your life expected this of you in order to receive love, or you witnessed someone being criticized for not being perfect. That belief created thoughts, feelings and behaviors to be perfect that are still playing out today.

Do you see how the ego created a program to help you navigate life based on what happened to you and what you made it mean?

Are you open to not seeing the ego as bad anymore?

Here is the thing, if you want to break through these limits that is limiting you from having the relationship you want, or the financial situation you prefer, or the health you deserve or the career that you are passionate about then you need to stop demonizing the EGO…because basically you are demonizing yourself.

Your Ego is You!

It is the YOU that you formed with the information you had back then when you formed it.

Reframe how you engage with your ego. Hold it instead of hate it. Learn to understand that part of you. Show compassion towards that part of you. Accept that you only knew what you knew then and the program you formed was based on what you knew then.

Are you ready to start holding your ego in this way rather than hating or denying it?

Life just got a lot easier!

Much Love & Light,



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