Negative Nancy is on the Loose

You ever have those moments where Negative Nancy is on the loose? You know that inner voice that can easily find everything going wrong in your life. I like to call her Negative Nancy.

She is such a drag but it also a clear sign that you are missing something important in your life. Let me explain…

Recently I was supporting a client unpack a behavior that wasn’t serving her. Looking underneath the surface to find out the root cause of this behavior so we could address it. As I started asking her some questions to unpack this more she heads straight into a shame spiral.

She started sharing how her life was falling apart, nothing was working, there must be something wrong with her, why was she not good enough for people to stay, no one wanted to support her, etc. She couldn’t figure out why this was happening to her.

I could feel her pain and struggle as I watched the light within her eyes start to dim. She was losing hope and felt overwhelmed as she tried to do this unpacking work. I quickly recognized that Negative Nancy was on the loose.

As much as I wanted to give her the space and spew everything out I knew it was not going to do her any good and only make her feel worse.

So I stopped her and said, “Do you recognize what you are doing?”

She replied. “No.”

My response,”You are beating yourself up.”

Light bulb moment followed by a “I don’t know how to make it stop” comment.

To me this was a clear sign that there was a lack of self-love and compassion. When we start looking at ourselves and it sets off Negative Nancy that means our critical thoughts have a stronger pull than our loving ones.

It feels like we can’t seem to get out of the hole we are in and change our current life situation.

This is a great opportunity to flex that self-love and compassion muscle to boost our strength and start to over-ride the critical thoughts.

This deep personal work is a lot easier to do with a little more love and compassion. If you don’t like yourself it is hard and nearly impossible to change yourself. Because you don’t feel an ounce of worth to change yourself.

Now that doesn’t mean you need to love yourself 100%…you just need a little to get started. And honestly the personal growth work you are doing is bringing you closer to 100% self-love.

I have seen it time and time again with my own journey and with my clients that they more love and compassion you have the more success you have with this work.

And the more success you have with the work the more success you will have in living the life of your dreams. This is why my Love Fest program has become a foundational program for this work.

This work requires you to look at all parts of you including your shadow, pain and trauma. If you don’t look it will always be there to haunt you, you will be constantly running from it and it will not allow you to play big in your life. Because you can’t possibly play big when you won’t allow yourself to be your WHOLE self.

Here is my recommendation if you are in a shame spiral and Negative Nancy is on the loose…start taking small steps to love yourself. Write down one thing you like about yourself and then like it over and over again for a few weeks to start building that love muscle.

Comment below and let me know if this resonated with you. I always love hearing from you.

Much Love & Light,

Kerri-Ann