Boundary Fatigue
Do you ever feel like you have boundary fatigue? I know I do at times. That’s when you feel like you are constantly placing boundaries everywhere. It’s like you walk around every corner and you need to place of boundary there too.
It can feel exhausting and you start to wonder if this ever ends or is everything in the world not what you want…and you start to believe that maybe you will never attract in what you do want because all you are seeing is what you don’t want. 🤔
This is what I call boundary fatigue. And usually it’s a sign that I am more focused on keeping things out rather than bringing things in. This is often moving away from what you don’t want rather than moving towards what you do want.
We naturally want to create boundaries for what we don’t want in our lives. Especially once we learn that we can place a boundary and keep out what we don’t want. Yet we get so focused on keep things out that we forget to let things in. And the more we place boundaries the higher chance we have to lose out focus on what we do want.
We need to learn how to be open ourselves up to bringing in what we do want. To do that requires us t investigate and look at what within us needs to shift in order for us to see the opportunities or the people we do want in our lives. Those opportunities or people are there but we can’t see them because we are so focused on what we want to keep out. This is is why I see boundaries not as keeping things out but instead as keeping us focused on what we want to bring in.
Let me give you an example:
I used to experience people taking advantage of me. I had a behavior of people pleasing which led to me feeling used and being taken advantage of in many areas of my life.
Once I started to become aware of this I placed boundaries to keep those types of people out. But I kept only finding more people who would take advantage of me. It was infuriating because all I truly wanted was for people to respect, value and appreciate me.
I had to investigate under the surface to why I was only seeing these type of people in my personal reality. What I discovered was that when I was a child and not getting my needs met I had to go above and beyond to get my needs met. It’s almost as if I had to prove myself in order, for example, to be fed.
This led me to doing more than my fair share and not being seen, valued or appreciated for what I contributed. I brought this behavior into adulthood and into all areas of my life without realizing it. This was the lens that I saw the world through. Which led me to being taken advantage of. Of course this was all unconscious until I became aware of it.
Now with this new information I was then able to shift my perspective and my behavior from needing to prove my worth in order to have my needs met…to understanding I’m already worthy of having my needs met. I no longer need to go above and beyond. I began believing and looking for people who recognized what I brought to the table and truly valued that.
It’s beautiful now because I am placing less boundaries due to the fact that I’m seeing more people in my outer world who see me and value me for who I am.
So, if you are experiencing boundary fatigue I highly recommend you investigate what is truly going on. What are you focused on and get curious why are you focused on that? Are you more focused on keeping things out or bringing things in? What are your struggles with bringing things in?
Enjoy investigating!
Much Love & Light,
Kerri-Ann
